My husband and I have been involved in home remodels together for the last 11 years. He is what you might call a serial-remodeler. I am not. I go kicking and screaming every time. Still it's what he loves to do. He is, after all, a professional... his company is among the top 200 in the U.S. and he made The Remodeling Big 50 (2007) for Business Savvy.
So, needless to say, he knows everything. I say that tongue in cheek but it really is true. He's very good at what he does. He is a powerful personality, and relentless in his expectations.
I, on the other hand, have more the heart of the poet. I would spend my life studying the cosmos, philosophy and people, and then write, write, write. Clearly we are very different on our approach to life. My own parents built homes together when I was a child and I still remember the atmosphere in our home. It was hard for them.
So, imagine my expert husband and I involved in remodeling two of our own homes together, both at the same time. I am not the least bit embarrassed to say that it almost cost us our marriage. It was so difficult for me to endure our differences during two such high octane projects, that the only value I could see by the end of it all was to share my learning with other couples. I wanted it to count for something truly meaningful so that I could feel like the pain was worth the learning. My homes are beautiful and I can appreciate them now, but what has stayed with me is a deep desire to address this invisible aspect of home-remodeling. I know how often couples are struck by the unexpected emotions and issues that rise out of something that involves lots of money, and deeply personal definitions of Home. My husband and I are better than ever now. We managed to grow through it all, and we both learned a great deal. It's time to pass it along. Now I am committed to helping other couples who want to ensure that their project will be successful and that their relationship will continue to thrive, during and after their project.
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